Turning Your Down into Up by Dr. Gregory L. Jantz

Author:Dr. Gregory L. Jantz [Jantz, Gregory L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-73211-8
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2013-07-16T00:00:00+00:00

Strengthen

As you look over your list of significant relationships, there may be one or two “diamonds in the rough.” These may include a positive relationship that you want to spend time and energy strengthening. The way to strengthen these relationships is to make the best contribution to the relationship that you can. Healthy relationships have the capacity to grow even stronger as both people work to enhance the connection. Consider using the following skills to strengthen relationships:

• Approach the person with an attitude of gratefulness. Few people appreciate being taken for granted. If this person is a significant filler in your life, let her know that. Express your gratitude for the relationship.

• Speak the truth to this person, whether you are talking about that person or about yourself. Trust between two people is enhanced when truth is spoken.

• As you talk with this person, allow for differences of opinion. People enjoy being able to talk about themselves and how they feel. This will give you the opportunity to really learn about this person.

• Release this person to make decisions for himself in the relationship. Don’t give in to a need to control or relinquish decisions. Healthy relationships are two way. Don’t burden the other person with your need to either take control yourself or force him to make all the decisions. Work together and allow for differences.

• Be respectful of the boundaries she feels are necessary for the relationship. If you want her to respect your boundaries, you must respect hers.

• Ask forgiveness when you make a mistake. Don’t try to hide it. And don’t try to magnify or minimize it—be truthful.

• Be accountable to that person. This grants permission to that person to comment on your actions. Being accountable is a mark of a committed friendship.

• When you do have a conflict with this person (and you will), be motivated to resolve the problem instead of trying to be “right.” Remember to focus on the strength of the friendship and not on the problem.

• Exercise forgiveness, for that person and for yourself.

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